If it is “back home”, why is it so hard?

Some people naturally thrive when change comes to them. They look forward to it, they feel invigorated by it. They love learning new languages, survival techniques, cooking styles and social mannerisms. However, many of these natural thrivers with fantastic adaptative skills are shocked when they go home, often the hardest environmental challenge to get adapted to. Why does this happen? This time it is not an adaptation process, it is a re-adaptation one, and all those skills that were used to expand and explore are not of that much use when they go to a land they know very well: their homeland.

At home you already know the language, the way things work there, the food, the social mannerisms…. There is less excitement and novelty and not so much to adapt to. But there is sure plenty of things to re-adapt to. Often intrepid entrepreneurs and business people who attain great goals abroad despite all odds and inconveniences find that they are not motivated to achieve the same results back home. Mothers who successfully raise children in very foreign land find it difficult to do so “at home” and students who overcome every hurdle away from home become demotivated when they return to their home countries.

“Oh no! This time we have to go HOME!!!”

People become different people while they are abroad. In many cases things are way harder to accomplish there since not so much family, friend or government support is available, so people sort of become goal oriented warriors who once “go home” can quickly become unsatisfied and frustrated. Their universe has expanded and now the idea of going back to normal feels very unappealing. They have developed and trained all those fabulous skills that now at home can’t be put to use, even so to the point that part of themselves might on some level feel sort of useless. Everything seems too different to them, and depending how far they got on their own personal life training abroad they might not be able to do that well once they are back home, where everything was supposed to be simpler and easier.

A re-adaptation process usually deals more with internal forces and circumstances than with external ones. If you are going home you need a different strategy than the one you used to adapt abroad.

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