You are not ready to go until you are ready to stay and why RCS is in many ways a lot about you and not so much about culture

Many returnees ask themselves “Why is that important to re-adapt back home if I plan on leaving anyways?”. Considering that re-adapting requires energy and intention this is a very fair question. The answer is that you are not ready to go until you are ready to stay. Here’s why:

I can’t blame you for wanting to leave fast because you feel unable to cope with stress, I have been tempted to do so many times myself. But if you leave because you can’t address the issues that are bothering you, you are letting them win, you are making an escape. You might jump on a plane that will take you very far away phisically, but inside you did not go anywhere, the issues are still there with you, and they might try to haunt you away or at home.

How annoying! Let’s take care of them first.

There are things back at home that you might need to embrace before you can leave at peace with yourself. Some voids might need to be filled, some friendships might have to be mended, some personal or professional issues must be taken care of. Use this priceless opportunity to do your homework back home and you will learn a lot about yourself. Travel is about learning and growing, so don’t look the other way just because you are home! Once you find your issues do what feels right about them: integrate them in you or simply let go of them. It really doesn’t matter if you are leaving or staying, what matters is that you are at ease about those issues. If you are staying you will re-adapt back home by solving those problems, and if you are leaving you will leave with valuable peace of mind once you have re-adapted and you feel like you leave because you want to, not because you have to.

Regardless of where you are now or what your plans are, my advice is to spend the time and energy necessary to feel at ease and at peace back home. Whether you jump into that plane or decide to stay it will all feel much, much better. You will feel warm, fuzzy and happy inside. So tie your boot laces and tread inside to find your issues, roll in their mud, wrestle them, breathe them, absorb your mother culture again, make it yours and then let go. Then a beautiful moment will come: you will know that you have won, that your issues could not defeat you, that you had more spirit than they did and that now you are above them. You will then be able to tell other travelers and expats about your experience. You will walk taller. You will know yourself better. You will have that unique kind of confidence that you make yours after having won at home.

Win at home before leaving or staying, but always win first. Make your home country yours again before staying and before leaving.

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